At Ready Georgia, we’re dedicated to helping you get prepared, because we know that emergency situations happen regularly, even if you don’t expect them. While it’s important to be prepared for anything that comes your way, some disasters are more likely than others. Today we’re presenting the top five disasters you’re likely never to experience (please note that this post is intended to be fun and not an actual analysis of threat levels posed by zombies and aliens).
1. Zombie Apocalypse: According to the CDC (seriously), the most likely cause of an outbreak of the living dead is via witchcraft, voodoo or mutations on mad cow disease, measles or rabies. They recommend many of the same things you should do to prepare for so-called “real” emergencies, such as packing a Ready kit and creating an emergency plan. Also, if “The Walking Dead” is any indication, we’d recommend avoiding Atlanta. You laugh, but when the zombie apocalypse comes, you’ll be glad you’ve got that NOAA Radio and hand-crank flashlight.
2. End of the Maya Calendar: Another popular disaster theory has determined that, according to an ancient Maya calendar, the world will end on December 21 or 23, depending on who you ask. Thankfully, archaeologists recently discovered another calendar in the ruins of Xultun showing that the end of days won’t happen until around the year 3500. Whew. If you don’t want to wait that long, we recommend the 2012 scene in which Woody Harrelson watches Yellowstone blow up like a bubble.
3. Alien Invasion: Alien invasions seem to be getting more popular these days, with surveys showing that most Americans would view them as a “minor inconvenience” and economists positing that preparing for an extraterrestrial strike could help the economic recovery. Still, the overwhelming evidence (and by evidence, we mean movie and TV plots) suggests that alien invasions could turn violent. However, those same sources also suggest that aliens will have an odd, uniquely convenient weakness. If you’re concerned about an outer space threat, we recommend keeping glasses of water around the house, befriending a nerd who can create computer viruses and keeping a copy of Slim Whitman’s “Indian Love Call” song around.
4. Solar Flares: Solar flares are storms that shoot solar particles out from the sun and can cause radiation and magnetic distortion when they come near earth. The damage from these storms is typically low and controllable, although in some rare cases they may cause damage to satellites and power outages. While it’s good to have supplies ready for events like power outages, what you don’t need to worry about are solar flares that cause the Earth’s mantle to overheat and its poles to shift. Unless you’re an astronaut, the only downside you’re likely to experience from a solar flare is an annoying disruption to your GPS device. The upside is you can watch cool NASA videos and you might even get some super powers.
5. Robot Uprising: For those worried that Skynet, HAL, Smith or Furby is coming to get you, rest assured that experts think “the robot revolution would end quickly, because the robots would all break down or get stuck against walls.” If you’re still concerned about an I, Robot-style revolution, consider hiding all your USB chargers. If your iPhone can’t hold a charge longer than 24 hours, your Ready kit should be able to last long enough for the Terminators’ batteries to run out. Or you could use your three-day supply of water bottles to short their circuits. Either way.
Bonus – Opossum Preparedness: While we’re talking about unlikely disasters, we’d like to mention that if you ever find yourself in a disaster with a pet opossum, there is an excellent how-to video for getting your opossum prepared.
Regardless of what you’re preparing for, there are some serious steps we recommend taking that can make a big difference in your safety. The easiest way to get prepared is to create a Ready profile, which helps you create a customized Ready kit checklist and communications plan to help keep you and your family safe for at least the first 72 hours following a disaster.
Photo credits: “Zombie” by SebKe, “2 Mayan Temples” by jjjj56cp, “A Early Morning View at Goddard” by NASA Goddard Photo and Video, “Robot” by Sebastianlund, “C3-class Solar Flare Erupts on Sept. 8, 2010” by NASA Goddard Photo and Video